The Walrus and The Carpenter

The sun was shining on the sea,
Shining with all his might,
He did his very best to make the billows smooth and bright,
And this was odd because...
it was the middle of the night!

The Walrus and the Carpenter were walking close at hand,
And wept like anything to see such quantities of sand,
If this were only cleared away,
It really would be grand.
If seven maids with seven mops swept of half a year,
Do you suppose they could get it clear,
I doubt it very much,
And he shed a bitter tear!

Oh oysters will you walk with us?
The Walrus did beseech,
A pleasant walk,
A pleasant talk,
Along the briny beach.
But we can not do with more than 4,
To give a hand to each.

The oldest oyster looked at him,
But never a word he said,
Meaning to say he did not chose to leave the oyster bed.

But 4 young oysters hurried up all eager for the treat,
Their coats were brushed,
Their faces washed,
Their shoes were clean and neat.
And this was odd because…
They hadn't any feet!

The time has come, the Walrus said,
To talk of many things,
Of shoes and ships,
Of ceiling wax of cabbages and kings,
And why the sea is boiling hot,
And whether pigs have wings!

Wait a minute the oysters cried,
Before we have our chat,
Some of us are out of breath,
And all of us are fat!
There really is no hurry,
We thank you very much for that!

A slice of bread is what we chiefly need,
Pepper and vinegar besides are very good indeed,
So if your ready oysters, dear,
We shall begin to feed!

But not on us,
Not on us,
See we're turning a little blue,
After such kindness that would be a dismal thing to do!

Yes, it was very kind of you to come,
And you are very nice,
Give us another slice my friend,
Give us another slice!
I wish you were not quite so deaf,
I've had to ask you twice!

It seems a shame I must confess,
To play them such a trick,
When we brought them so far,
And made them trot so quick.

Look at this,
Look at this, the butters spread to thick!
I weep for you,
I really do,
I deeply sympathise.

As with sobs and tears he sorted out those of the largest size,
Holding his pocket handkerchief before his streaming eyes.

Oh oysters I have to say,
You've had a pleasant run,
Shall we be trotting home again?
But answer came there none,
And this was scarcely odd because…
They'd eaten everyone!

Oh woeful weeping Walrus,
Your tears are all a sham,
Your greedier for oysters,
Than children are for Jam!